Managing Digital Legacies: Ensuring Your Online Accounts Don’t Become a Burden for Loved Ones
The sudden loss of a loved one is a devastating event, and when coupled with the daunting task of unraveling their digital life, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. This is the reality Rebecca Bistany faced when her 40-year-old husband, Paul, passed away unexpectedly in November 2022. The pain of losing Paul was amplified by the fact that he had not left behind a will, and Rebecca found herself locked out of his phone and, by extension, their life stored digitally.
Today, with the average person holding around 100 online accounts according to NordPass, the repercussions of death have evolved into complex digital dilemmas. From accessing bank accounts to preserving precious memories stored as digital photos and videos, the task of managing a deceased loved one’s digital legacy can be as challenging as it is essential.
Rebecca’s struggle to access Paul’s phone illustrates a painful intersection of grief and technology. Despite repeated attempts to unlock the device using every conceivable four-digit code, she faced the relentless frustration of being denied access. Appeals to Apple, AT&T, and law enforcement yielded no solutions, as companies adhere strictly to privacy policies unless the deceased has appointed a legacy contact—a step too few take in planning for their digital afterlife.
Rebecca’s ordeal underscores the growing importance of digital legacy planning. This involves not only designating a trusted individual as a legacy contact but also maintaining a secure record of crucial passwords and instructions for managing digital assets. It is an aspect of estate planning that, in the digital age, has become as crucial as writing a will.
Yet, as Laura Orrico’s experience demonstrates, even when access to digital assets is possible, navigating them can still pose significant challenges. The emotional fog of grief, often referred to as “widow brain,” can make even basic organizational tasks insurmountable. Laura, overwhelmed by the complexity of her late husband’s digital presence, resorted to hiring an IT professional to sift through his computer—a necessary but daunting step.
These stories highlight a critical gap in our approach to life planning: the need to include digital legacy planning as a standard component of estate preparation. As our lives become increasingly intertwined with technology, the necessity of planning for the digital afterlife has become undeniable. Addressing this aspect can not only alleviate the logistical and emotional challenges faced by grieving families but also ensure that cherished memories and important financial assets are not lost in the digital ether.
The experiences of Rebecca Bistany and Laura Orrico serve as poignant reminders of the complexities introduced by our digital lives. They underscore the importance of proactive planning and open conversations about digital legacies. By taking steps now to secure and share our digital lives, we can help ease the burden on our loved ones during an already difficult time.